I sincerely hope everybody had a happy holiday. Unfortunately, my grandmother passed away on Christmas morning. To say that it has been difficult would be an understatement. It was sudden and unexpected, but when the phone rang so early (almost at dawn) on Christmas day, I knew.
My grandmother would've been 89 years old in April. She lived a full life, but at the end, she succumbed to illnesses that come with age. I hadn't seen her for a few years, simply because I couldn't stand to see her like that. I know it's not the best reason, but whenever I saw her, she just got worse. She didn't recognize anybody anymore. The only peace that I get is knowing that it was quick; she was barely in the hospital for an hour before she passed.
Things are probably going to be a little quiet around here while I deal and adjust. I've been mostly calm, but it's a confused calm. And a calm infused with guilt. Like, I shouldn't be enjoying myself this holiday season because she can't. And I'm sad. Thankfully, Damian, my family and friends have all been great support.
So, I do wish you a happy holidays, but I'll be quiet for a while. Maybe a few days, a few weeks. But I hope you are appreciating everybody you care for. You never know when something like this will strike.
Much love to you all.