It's not you, it's them

Sometimes, you'll be wearing an outfit and you'll be all, damn yo. I look good. You're going to be riding high on the wave of self-esteem and accomplishment. You feel good and your outfit reflects that. All of a sudden, you walk by someone and they give you The Look.

You know, The Look. Not I Have Romantic Intentions With You look. Or the You're in Big Trouble! look. Nor am I talking about Roxette's song The Look. The Look. The Look that decimates all the good mood you had until that point. It could either mean, oh just look at you in your silly outfit. Or, ugh, I hate you and your clothes. It can mean a bunch of things. Point is, you got The Look.

What does it mean, why did you get it? What did you do to deserve it? Did you accidentally step on any toes? Did dressing your best actually offend somebody? Did you forget to wear deodorant or brush your teeth? Speaking of teeth, is some of my lunch still on them? Those are just some of the questions that buzz through many of our minds when The Look happens. But worry not. Why? Because it's not about you; it's all about them.

Sometimes when we dress, feel, or just plain ol' act our best, we intimidate people. And it's not like we mean to. We might dress our best as a shield, but it's our shield. It's meant to make us feel better, not make others feel bad. So why do people react? Why do I say that it's all about them? Their looks usually reflect insecurities and frustrations. They may feel insecure about their outfit or the work they are doing, and when they see somebody looking or doing better than them, well. They can be hurt and confused on how to react. And sometimes, they don't react in the best way.

So what do you do when this happens? Well, keep your chin up. Ignore it. Smile. Maybe when you do that, the other party will see how silly they've been. If they continue to glare at you, you could consider asking them if everything is okay. Maybe that will jar them out of their haterrific stupor. Point is, don't let them get to you. They're being silly. If you let them affect you, you're hurting both yourselves. They're hating themselves because they're engaging in unhealthy emotional practices (judging themselves against you, expressing it immaturely) and you're hurting yourself because it may be a blow to your self-esteem, your day, your perceptions, among other things.

I think that, instead of being petty and acting out that way, those people should simply stop and reevaluate themselves. Why are they acting out this way? What makes them feel threatened? If it's just envy, well, what do they envy? Is that person dressing their best and you feel like you look bad? Is that person in good shape and you feel you've let yourself go? Ponder the why of your actions and instead of using those feelings to glare at the other person, employ them in empowering yourself. Promise yourself you'll work out. Make a commitment to planning your outfits and looking your best. Don't let it turn from a momentary lapse in good judgement into a Look!

How would you react? What would you or have you done in the face of The Look? Do you let it get you down? Or, have you given The Look? Why?