Wednesday, August 22, 2007

No class.

Today I couldn't give my first class because I couldn't find parking anywhere. I found parking about twenty minutes too late and when I got to the classroom all that was left was a student from the other section and the attendance list ever-so-kindly made by my students.

I promptly fired off an e-mail explaining why I was MIA and also telling them what we will do next class. Missing this class is just another sign that today is a bad day. I woke up feeling anxious and crappy, cried in the car on the way over to school, and then didn't find parking. Grr.

As for what teaching in general is like, it's been okay. The most frustrating part is that the students in my second section are slacking off. This makes me very angry. I try to get them to talk and to cooperate but there's one of them that refuses to speak English (he says he's in Puerto Rico, he doesn't have to speak English). There's another that, while funny, keeps disrupting the class with his comments. And then there's one that always keeps staring and giggling at me.

The one comforting thing is that they all seem comfortable enough with me to talk to me. They approach me after class and while some of them are shy, most of them aren't afraid to raise their hand and have me check their writing. Which is cool.

I'm being so disorganized though. I have to get my rollbook in gear. I have to prepare a pre-assessment rubric (though I have one, all I have to do is tweak it). Quite honestly, most of my free time is spent sleeping and avoiding thought in general. I hate my grad class and I haven't done anything for my thesis. I just wish I could drop out of the program.

I think a lot of people wonder what the hell happened to me. I used to be so driven, so enthusiastic. Now I just don't care. I've even thought about taking down the blog, since I don't have any desires to do anything. I don't know.

Well, I'd better try to do something so...catch you all later.


Viv said...

Ay Stellita, Stellita. What can I say? There are days and then there are days. We all have them. So try not to let it get to you that much because, in the end, its not worth it.
And remember you're loved :)

nyd said...

I wish my students would leave when im not there, but no, they go to the guidance councler and they PA my name all over the system!!!! yes its a true story! LOL, but it is true, don't let it get to you.