Monday, January 28, 2008


I present to you the very first wounds of 2008. You know what this means? This means I'm going to graduate, SUCKA. With honors! (But not in May. Don't get your hopes up.)

So how did this happen? This glorious addition to a body already littered with scars occurred on my way to my Foundations of English class. I was moving as fast as I could in my 5-inch wooden platform mary janes when, bam! (And we're not referencing Emeril.) I fell and covered myself with seeds, leaves, and dirt. Add my very own blood to the mix, and, voilá.

The funny thing is that this random guy was walking next to me and when he saw me fall, he did nothing! He didn't even stop to ask, "are you alright? Can you walk?" or, at the very least, go "Ha ha!" like the bully character in the Simpsons.

He just kept right on walking.

Another guy, very much far away and on the other side of the sidewalk actually came up and asked me how I was and if I needed any help. Thank you, kind stranger. Just your asking was enough for me to keep on hobbling.

To the guy who passed me by:

May your penis fall into a cactus pile. :D

And so, I hobbled to my classroom, told the professor, "I'm going to Medical Services, be right back." (See? Responsible.) Hobbled to Medical Services, almost fell on my way back, cursed everything, and then ate chocolate chip cookies given to me by Damian.

Actually, I wasn't surly at all...most of the time I kept joking about it and laughing. Because, come on.

Anyway. I will say this. It seems I keep falling on the same knee. The bad knee. The bum knee. The knee that one day will say: "you know what? FUCK YOU." And then proceed to disconnect itself from my body.

Now, excuse me. I will continue to watch Anthony Bourdain and ooze.

*points at knee* OOZE!


Viv said...

Dito Stella! I hope your knee recovers well and soon. Dito!
And yes, may his penis fall in a cactus (that was amazing btw). What a jerk.

K said...

Penises in the cactus pile ... ajajajajajajaaja

Dito poor Stella! Did u have your salve with u ?

That always helps ..

S.Mendez said...

This should be in the Boobisms blog. Ditto that poor knee again. Look at the bright side of it. Its a clear sign that ur graduating and that the laws of gravity still work. I hope you get better. Get Pistachio ice cream...that always makes anything a lot better.

scizor said...

Ow! Penis in a cactus pile?! You are vile! XD Then again, some like him would deserve such punishment. Hope your knee realises it was a mistake and doesn't give up on you. :)