The long overdue San Juan post.

How long has this post been marinating? Yeah...just look at the pictures...

That's all folks...I need to rest. This past week has been hectic.

What I did last night.

There were penises involved.


Many penises, as you can see.

PENISES!

(Wow, I'm going to get the worst referrals from Google.)

Last night was my friend Jennifer's bridal shower. Dear flying owner of a noodly appendage, I had never seen so many penises in one room. And these are the discreet pictures, mind you. There was Pin the Penis on the Hunk and there was a set of XXX rated playing cards. There were penises on the cake! Oh my.

It was my first bridal shower, I guess that's why I was in so much shock? They were actually planning on having a stripper, but the bride-to-be was against so no stripper. I think that would've been too much for me. But all in all, it was a good time.

Excuse my lack of articulate expression, but I'm still kind of asleep. That, and I have spent barely a day in my house this week! Even today, I must dash off to meet with the girls at the mall. But before I leave, I bestow upon you all, my dear readers, a picture of the bride.


Her face wisely away from the camera, here is Jennifer, the future bride. With a penis veil and a penis diadem. A light-up penis diadem. Which I took video of, because it had a particular light show routine. (But I'm not putting that up here. Sorry.)

Classic.

This is...

What happens when you don't keep up your hobbies.

I used to draw pretty much all the time before I hit my senior year of bachelor's. But when I got into the home stretch of my first university degree, fun pretty much went out the window. 21 credits both semesters, plus keeping up with my weekend job didn't leave much time for enjoyment, let alone hobbies. (Except photography!)

So I pretty much hadn't picked up a pencil or a pen to draw anything other than random sheep for about four years. Wow.  Until today.

I was sitting in the kitchen, writing stuff down (in my Batman notebook! Batman! WOO!), when I noticed I was using my Harry Potter cup-and it's here that we must pause to deal with your gasps of horror or snickers of amusement. Yes, I have a Harry Potter cup. In fact, I HAVE TWO. I like Harry Potter. Sue me. 

Now back to the story. I noticed I was using the cup and I wondered if I could manage a quick sketch. I used to do that all the time to practice, quick 5, 10, 20 minute sketches. I figured then was as good a time as any and so, picked up the pen and tried.

Wow. Was it rotten.

Granted, it doesn't look like a moronic stick figure, but it still is a far cry from how I used to draw. Here, let me show you. 

I think that from the eyes up it looks pretty decent. But the nose, oh the nose. He looks like an angry bull. And the neck. It looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger's neck when he was Mr. Universe (or Olympia, whatever it was). Here, look at it yourself.

Actually, now that I look at it, he sort of looks like he got beaten up by the Klitschko brothers. 

Sigh. 

As a frame of reference, here I give you a picture of a drawing made about five years ago.

This was supposed to be a portrait of the Marauders (you know, Wormtail, Moony, Padfoot, and Prongs, from Harry Potter?), but I never finished it. The one on the left, I think, is Wormtail. The one on the right is James Potter. Why is Wormtail so happy? I don't know. Maybe he got his first chest hair or something. 

Anyway. I feel that I just stuck a big FAIL sticker on my forehead. I definitely have to practice more. 

Definitely.

You know it's hot when...

You reach for your Band Aid Blister Block and it's all melted.

Ay, caramba.

Regular posting will resume once I get a breather. It has been a busy week here Chez Trois Chiens. I've barely been at home this week, what with previously scheduled events (such as the workshop at RUM) and unscheduled events (like my car battery dying because I left the lights on; oops). 

Anyway, off to another busy day. Will post soon. I think. Until then, I distract you with picture taken while walking home some time ago.

Laters!

Nyoh!

We interrupt our regularly scheduled blog posts to bring you this:


A photo of the mysterious and elusive chibi Stella. It was found while being forced to use the desktop because Tsuki's (the Mac's) adapter is damaged. Again. I go through adapters like Paris Hilton goes through bad hair extensions.

Wait. Paris Hilton jokes are sooo two years ago.

Oh well.

I look like a squeaky toy. xD

This is content?

So yes, hello. It has been a rather uneventful week over at Chez Crazy, with perhaps the exception of two things:

1) my dog is being sterilized :(

2) a scale has been brought into the home 

My dog, Patch, is about three years old and I've definitely resisted sterilizing her due to a bad experience with our other female dog, Maya. When Maya was sterilized, something went dreadfully wrong: there was a reaction to the wire used to stitch her up inside (when the idiot doctor used wire, I knew something was wrong) and she had two gaping open wounds on her hips that were always oozing pus. The poor dog was in pain for close to two years because we took her back to the vet and he said that the only option was just ripping her open again and leaving it all exposed. What. The. Shit? To say that I wanted to beat the idiot vet within an inch of his life is the understatement of the year. Nay, decade. 

After two years, the infection finally ceased and now Maya is a happy (well, she can be grumpy) ball of fuzzy love. But to say that I am terrified of this happening to Patch, well. Is supremely on the mark. 

(Patch is currently hiding under the beds. She senses the impending doom. That, and it's hot and she seeks the cool.)

The second part of the post is the arrival of a scale into our lovely home. We haven't had a scale in our house, oh. Ever. Actually, in our old house we did. But that was...approximately 19 years ago. This is a big thing because if we ever wanted to know our weight, we'd have to go to the doctor or go to one of those machines at stores that give you your weight and your lucky number. (They now give Christian messages though...sheesh.)

I think this could be both negative and positive. Negative because it may just turn into some sort of...Lord of the Flies thing, with everybody going "I'M FAAAAAAAAAT!" and then throwing out all the carbs in the kitchen. And then I'd go into berserker mode because they threw away my bread. And nobody, I repeat, NOBODY, separates me from my bread.

This would probably conclude with the house burning down and mom running away with her candy stash. And dad running after her saying, "UNHEALTHY CALORIES!"

Anyway. The positive would be that we would all be aware of our weight and do something about it. Mom weighed in at 132, dad at 240, and me at 137. Pounds, but of course. This cheered me up because I figured I was heavier. But I am aware that most of that weight is fat. No muscle. So if I where 137 pounds of muscle, I'd be fine. But as I am now, no.

Dad worries me though. 240. That's kind of...much, no? He's only six feet one inch so...

Hopefully, this will trigger some sort of positive healthy change in the family diet. I mean, we are relatively healthy with the exception of the obsession with candy. Woo. Do we ever have a sweet tooth. 

Now I have to get ready to take the poor dog to the vet (another vet, mind you; not the evil asshole vet). I think she migrated to the sofa to contemplate her last day of ovulation. 

:(

Up next? Probably a San Juan review and a photo post. Stay tuned!

Weekend.

Well, just got home from the Colegio commencement! Congrats to the boy and the boobies!

Anyway, this is just a quick post to say that I'll be away for the weekend. So, if anything, leave a message, a comment, send an e-mail or call!

Have a good one guys, I'll be back late Sunday or early Monday with a picture post.

Movies.

Movies you should all see: Atonement and The Painted Veil.

Watch.

Weep.

Discuss.

William Carlos Williams.

The appropriation of? The massacre of?

I found this the other day in the English Students' Lounge at Colegio and it just gave me a chuckle. I hope it gives all the other nerds/English lit lovers a laugh as well. (I hope no one goes insane and pitches a fit about the bastardization of William Carlos Williams. I mean, it's all good fun!)

William Carlos Williams is one of my favorite poets (of course, you might consider that a cliché answer). He is half-English and half-Puerto Rican. The two poems that were appropriated on the chalkboard are some of his most famous, "The Red Wheelbarrow" and "This is just to say."

This is what the original versions of the poems say:

"The Red Wheelbarrow" (originally titled "XXII")

so much depends

upon

a red wheel

barrow

glazed with rain

water

beside the white 

chickens

and ""This is just to say:"

I have eaten 

the plums

that were in the icebox

and which 

you were probably

saving

for breakfast.

Forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

and so cold.

Summer days.

Taken before I rushed out with mom to Ponce. 100+ degree weather. Oh well.

Ketchup.

This isn't a promotion, even though he is the candidate I voted for. And this isn't meant as an insult either. It's just a reminder. :P

Jarabe de Palo & Indie Rock Festival.

As promised, here are some pictures from the Jarabe de Palo concert & the Indie Rock Festival, May 23 & 24, respectively.First, Jarabe de Palo. No pictures of the band though...I didn't get any good ones. :/

The following are from the Indie Rock Fest, starting with Café Tacuba (Tacvba).

Now Circo...

Miranda...was too busy dancing and being silly to take proper pictures...

And one last Café Tacuba picture so you guys can get a perspective on how full the Indie Rock Fest was.

It was all great fun. Hope the pictures conveyed at least some of the fun it was. :)

Faked on eBay.

Well. Fuck.

I think you can tell the topic of the post from the title, no? No beating around the bush. Just short, straight, and to the point.

Last month I purchased what I thought to be a genuine and very nice Yves Saint Laurent Muse on eBay. From the pictures, it looked authentic. So, obviously, I was very excited. I've been wanting to have a Muse for three years now. But when it arrived, the dream went out the window, down the toilet. It was effectively shat upon.

The bag was a fake. Admittedly, it was a good fake. But I knew something was wrong. The leather wasn't supple and soft. The hardware looked cheap and shiny. And it didn't smell right. I can tell the smell of good leather, and this wasn't it.

So now, I'm in the process of returning the bag. If it were up to me, I would totally reveal the name of this person so nobody would deal with this eBayer again. But that would be risky, as the person could get me into trouble. Needless to say, I'm going to be extra careful from now on. 

However, I would like to extend a very warm thanks to the members of The Purse Forum. They helped me confirm my fears and engage in the return process. Go Purse Forum!

Bargain hunting.

Also known as an excuse to take silly pictures of myself and post up outfits.

So faced with doing nothing all day (aka being stuck at home, alone), I decided to risk my luck with my dying car and venture out to Yauco. My aim was to hit up Marshall's to see if they had anything good, but I didn't find anything that made me go: oh yes, must buy. Plus, the one thing I did like was more expensive than the collective amount spent in all I bought. 

So we're starting with the most expensive article in the lot: the lavender shirt to the right. It's To the Max and it was 4.99. Pants are several months old from Old Navy, but I haven't worn them yet. 16.99.

Next up, this skirt! It's BCBGirls and it was only 1.99. Shirt is Old Navy and like the pants in the previous picture, several months old. 1.99 as well. I fully intend this to be one of my more casual summer outfits. After all, summer is about using the least amount of clothes possible without looking slutty. And without getting sunburn. Wear that SPF, kids!

By the way, the reason that my hand is at the waist: it isn't because I'm trying to be posing, it's because I'm so used to everything I wear having pockets, I was trying to find the pocket. But this skirt doesn't have any. Sadness!

Third, this dusty rose-colored dress. To the Max, 2.99! The snakeskin belt is from Marshall's, 3.00. I'm aware that the dress might make me look a little wider, but I think the dress is cute. I've discovered the wonders of the v-neck, and, how can I deny a dress with pockets?

And, have you noticed? In all the pictures I either have my hand tucked into a pocket or I'm trying to. I love pockets. Pockets are gift from the fashion lords. And from a preternatural being.

Crap, the pictures sort of get more unflattering as we go along. Anyway. Last article of clothing bought today: BCBGirls skirt, 2.99. I think the tank top is Guess and it has quite some years on it. Have no idea how much it cost. Probably 9.99 or something, I'm a miser, I know. 

Normally, I don't go for anything blue. Only extremely dark wash denim or super dark navy. I'm just not into blue. However, for 2.99, I figured this would make an extremely nice summer skirt. It's lightweight cotton so it's breezy.

All articles worn in this post (except where otherwise specified) where purchased at Rave. Yeah, I know. Stop shaking your head at me. 

Since I didn't have a job this semester, I definitely restrained myself shopping. I only bought something if I really liked it/needed it/knew it would get a lot of wear. In fact, that has been my shopping M.O. for quite a while now: shop on basis of cost per wear. And, sheesh, at how cheap these were, I totally am getting my money's worth. And so much more.

So, in addition to the articles featured here, I also purchased a candy bar (.54 cents), a necklace (.25 cents), nude nail polish (.99 cents), and blush (an entire dollar). With taxes, that brings the grand total to a whopping $16.84. Much less than the shirt I was drawn to at Marshall's.  

Anyway. So here we have one last outfit, a possible for this year's

 graduation. Not that I'm graduating. But a bunch of people are. Significant people. Like that significant other. And some of my significant friends. And I've actually been boggled about what to wear. Opinions?

So, details of the outfit: dress, J. Crew, totally bought at Salvation Army my friends. Salvation Army is The Awesome. I think it was 5 or 8 dollars. You're already acquainted with the belt, Marshall's, $3.00. Bag, Yves Saint Laurent Muse. Price? Guess. I most definitely did not pay full price for it. Because I'm a pennypincher. Shoes, Prada. $70. Off eBay, of course. The pooch is totally brought to you by not working out and being completely nonchalant and eating too much ice cream.

And, yes, I am aware that it is not a huge pooch and that there are people who are more out of shape than I am, but, indulge me. Meaning, don't go batshit in the comments. As someone who's been both overweight and then a total jock, so I definitely have a level of physical self-awareness.

So, to conclude, I'd like to add a few more things:

-Must stop watching Transformers, the movie. I mean, seriously. I know I totally watched it as a child, but...this is ridiculous.

-Haven't had lemonade in a while. Totally must make some soon. Tomorrow, perhaps?

-Possessed by urge to do a fruit tart. Hmm. Fruit tart. GO POOCH!

-Will totally put up belated Jarabe de Palo and Indie Music Festival picture post.

-Could not resist. Broke quarantine and let dogs in. Oops.

Sleep tight everyone.