Happy Halloween!

Today is one of my favorite holidays. Why? Because you get to dress up, harass people for candy, and it's allowed! Sadly, I'm not going anywhere this year (bad car and just downright paranoia) so, no dressing up. Sad face! However, if I was going to dress up, I already had ideas :P

Mana (from Malice Mizer)
GoGo (Kill Bill)
V (I think this needs no explanation whatsoever

The fact that I have the same haircut as all those people/characters is definitely influential!

However, if it had to be one of those couples costumes, I guess I have that covered too?

GoGo & a Crazy 88
V & Evey (and D would be Evey since he a) has the haircut b) I AM V)
Sayuri and The Chairman (yay, heritage)

:D

Unfortunately, no parties for me. Sadness.

Happy Trick or Treating everyone! I hope your day is full of candy and awesomeness!

This is just not my month.

As I was going to my dad's shop to hand him the keys to grandpa's house, I had an accident. Woohoo.

A car was blocking my view (and the road) and I was inching forward to see the road when, bam. I hit an old lady. (Why is it always an old lady) Promptly, I parked, got out of the car, started shaking and broke down in tears. However, I was lucky. Our family lawyer and a police officer saw it and they saw that it wasn't my fault. The car that was blocking the road and view immediately wanted to get out of the scene, but thank God, the cop was on him and gave him a ticket for causing the accident.

Still, since the ones involved in the actual hit were the old lady and I, we're the ones that have to do the insurance thing. Thankfully, everybody was very nice and they understood that it was the van's fault. I can't say that I'm happy, but at least it didn't get worse. (Because it could have.)

Cars breaking down, relatives with broken bones, work, and this. It's just not my time of the year.

Right now, I'm sort of sedated. I'm not anxious or crazy at all. I guess I think: well, that's all now. Nothing more. But I'm lucky. It could've been worse. There could've been no witnesses and then where would I be?

Dad was very understanding and he helped calm me down (I was still weeping and shaking). I thought he would be all upset and angry, but he wasn't. He actually cheered me up a bit. Wow. I guess he was just happy I was okay and things weren't really that bad.

I'm going out for a jog...I need it.

Culinary Adventures.

There's no other way around it so I'll just say it.

I ate cactus.

O.o

Last night I went with my parents to one of my favorite haunts, an organic restaurant in Cabo Rojo called Asiquesi. My dad was totally game but my mother was most definitely not. I saw cactus on the menu and I figured, why not? Life is short. It didn't taste bad, but it isn't something I'd eat all the time. It is definitely an acquired taste though. No more cactus for me!

I have a crapload of stuff for this week. Clean room (again). Write up presentation on monsters. Rewrite essay for SLA. Finish all portfolios (oh shit). Watch Blade Runner for portfolio. Pay credit card. Order dad's birthday present. Resist lure of Marni boots.
Send letter for Cambridge. Distribute flyers for UPenn. And, at some point, get some sleep. La.

Keep in mind, I'm not complaining, this is more of a to-do list. In only four weeks, it'll all be over until January and that is about, 522 levels of awesome. Yay, vacation!

I had nasty dreams last night. I dreamt of aliens (the thin, big-eyed kind, those are the ones that scare me) and then, I woke up within the dream, and there was someone watching me in the dream. *shudders* I was scared that it was another night terror episode, but at least I could breathe.

Also I'm very stressed and scared that all the money I'm saving this semester is for the Cambridge trip. All of it. I know that when that money goes I'm going to suffer, but it will be worth it in the end. I hope. *gulp*

What a doozy.

And I think that's an understatement.

Everyone knows that I have been a bit hectic the past few weeks, but, in the past three days things just blew out of proportion. I've had two cars break down on me in less than 36 hours, internet and phone outages, and other stuff that I won't mention.

Oh, and it's that time of the month, so it just keeps getting worse.

Monday as I was getting out of class (translation: after 9:15PM), my car broke down on the way home. Yes, my car broke down again, less than two months after the previous breakdown. I freaked, put it in neutral, and parked it in front of Centro Medico. I called my parents, line was busy, called my boyfriend, and he came over to keep me company until everything was solved. (Which means he stayed until 11pm plus until my car got towed.) I got home after midnight and went to sleep at about one.

(Plus, I'd had to take allergy pills, and I was dizzy, nauseous, and I had tachycardia.)

Next day, I wake up at about 7 to go into town with dad so I can walk from one side of town to the other to ask gramps for his car (since he fractured his arm and can't drive). He was more than happy to oblige. Problem solved!

For now.

Today, as I was going to take care of gramps (since he can't really fend for himself with his fractured arm), the car, his car, the car he lent me, broke down. I managed to start it up, go to his house, and everything seemed to be fine until I left his house an hour later and the car died. On a hill. Fun.

Thankfully, it seems the problem was solved, but that didn't stop me from breaking down and crying. School, personal situations, and then the car. I could've sworn God was punishing me for something. Either that, or cars just don't like me. I called Damian and waited for my dad to show. And cried, of course.

I'm trying to focus on the positive (that my boyfriend kept me, his hysterical girlfriend, company, the fact that I've had cars at my disposal to transport myself, that my parents are doing everything they can, etc), but I keep going back to all the negatives (school, committees, a very bad appointment to a committee, personal problems, work, Cambridge funds).

The worst part is that after I cry and am all vulnerable and such, I just shut off how I feel and I become this bitter, hardened person that thinks nobody cares. In fact, I erased and rewrote this post about three times because I was struggling whether or not to write about it. I'm fairly sure this is because of the alienation I feel from the rest of the grad students and from my friends (whom I barely see). The only person I see on a fairly constant basis is D, and usually I'm too tired or high-strung to be coherent. :/ I guess I need to put myself first instead of working myself within an inch of existence.

Cheap Thrills

I'm one of those people that is just as happy wearing Yves Saint Laurent shoes as I am wearing a one dollar t-shirt from a flea market. Of course, I love brands and nice things, but I also love The Find, the one inexpensive fabulous thing that totally makes your day.

Today I did the latter, the inexpensive purchase. I bought two three dollar shirts at a "Venta del Pasillo" and I couldn't be prouder. I needed some new camisoles (since I've worn the ones I have to shreds and I've already had to throw away four) so I'm quite happy with my new purchases!

There's also another new purchase in my life that I haven't talked about since I honestly forgot. All this running around for work and school and family situations is not good at all for my short-term memory. Anyway, the other day I waltzed into Gordon's, with no plans of actually purchasing something. But I did. I found this thin, half-round pavé ring that I saw as the substitute for the ring I usually wear on that all-important finger (you know, the one that says "fuck off, I'm taken"). The one I always wear is the one my mother gave me, but I can't take that when I'm out of the country due to the fact that it's not insured. And that the ring has been in the family for around 40 to 50 years and if I lose it my mother will kill me, my grandmother will return from her grave and kill me again, and my father as well. So, getting an alternate has been a wise choice. And I'm quite happy with it as well!

It was relatively low-priced and it is the tiniest piece of jewelry I've ever worn, or, at least D thinks so. He was so surprised when he saw it, he actually said, "the diamonds, they're so tiny!" He is highly amused.

A moment of peace?

What can I say? I'm not good for conversation lately. Usually I just say "I'm tired" or I stare off into the emptiness and say "wha?" The past couple of weeks have been hectic and the upcoming ones are shaping up to be more of the same.

I haven't blogged out of sheer exhaustion. That and my brain is too muddled to write. I think I booked myself to the point of insanity, what with all these associations, committees, meetings, responsibilites. But I'm not going to give up. I know I can do this! Yar!

Another reason why life has been hectic lately is an incident involving my grandfather. He took quite a tumble and fractured his shoulder, and now we have to take care of him and take him to the doctors and such. Since we're the only family he has over here (correction: the only family who cares), we have to take care of him. He's been even more depressed since he fell. He feels useless and incapacitated. Poor gramps.

As I reread this post I realize that it doesn't sound like me at all. It's so automatic and void of expression, but I guess that's how I feel. Yesterday I was just so exhausted. I came close to passing out several times. That, and a cold keeps trying to take me down. But I am armed with my trusty vitamins and garlic pills. Oh, and Ricola.

Thankfully, there is only six weeks of class left. Only six weeks of class, commitments, meetings, flyers, responsibilities. I wonder, at the end, who really gives a shit about everything one does? But then I think, I give a shit. And it matters to people that I do.

I have to work on a presentation for my wednesday class, I guess this is some sort of reminder note for myself.

Oh well, I'll stop blogging now. Sorry everyone for not being very active in commmenting in your blogs, but I read them! I just don't have the capacity to write a clever comment. :/

Take care, everyone!

Let there be light.

The past couple of days can be summed up in the following words: rain, rain, and more rain. So, us west-end islanders hope to see the sun soon.

Also, the only thing I've been seeing the past couple of days is books and this here computer. I'm desperately trying to finish up all my scholastic loose ends before tomorrow, but...it doesn't seem very likely. (Thanks, electricity, for going out and not letting me charge the laptop.) However, I have made great progress. I'm close to finishing the portfolios for my Wednesday class, I'm only missing one assignment from my SLA class, and my Theory and Criticism work just needs to be typed out. But my brain feels like it's turning to mush. I can't wait to be done with all of it. Must hold on, only 7 weeks of classes left!

I also have to work on some flyers. Hmm.

Anyway, before I forget, thanks Iguana Lola for the Theory & Criticism books. :) And thanks Gabo for your Snakes on a Party. And to Dave for the kick-ass bibliography!

Well, I go either to wander aimlessly around the house or pay a visit to the fridge. Catch you all later!

Do my best!

Wow, that title is very Miyazawa Yukino. >.>

Anyway, I finally got out of bloody work. Back to working on weekends. No more subbing for my stupid immediate superior. Freedom feels like frolicking across fields and being carefree.

Sadly, the freedom lasted for about two hours.

Back to ye' olde school grind, but this time with a lot of meetings. I've decided (along with some input from Clan Boobie and The Boyfriend) that I need to downsize my responsibilities before a) I grow murderous (well, I actually already am murderous) b) actually commit a homicide. But, apparently, that is not going to happen any time soon. I've been sort of appointed as the leader of the upcoming Cambridge session.

Yes, I want to go, I'm planning on going, and any help anybody can give is totally appreciated. And by help, I mean money. :D

Anyways, the relaxing part of my life should start around Christmas, when I will be taking several days off to entertain friends. :)

I'm fairly sure that I have other things to say, but, right now, my brain is just...not functioning, so take care everyone!

Salvation lies at 3 o' clock.

Well, three thirty, to be more exact.

*holds on* x.x

Hating this week with the fury of a thousand monkeys.

This whole waking up at 7am and going to work thing is clearly not working out. Specially when I'm waking up this early to go work at the job I don't like, guh.

I've been obscenely tired all this week which on one hand is good because when I go to bed, I actually rest, not toss and turn like usual. But I'm spaced most of the time, even in class, because my body just can't seem to fully recharge its batteries. I'm not really taking in anything...I'm just in Zombie Auto-Pilot Mode. Just have to remind myself that it's only until next Monday. >_<

Anyway. This is my way of saying to the world: I'm sorry if I sound retarded, but my sentence formulating capabilites are severely lessened due to lack of restful sleep and hating my job.

And I had the most disgusting dream this morning that had to do with being transferred to some snooty private school and that D was smoking. Repeatedly. In front of me. And that he couldn't understand why I was upset. And he also was acting like a flaming butthole in the dream. Ugh. I hate my subconscious.

*goes to work*

Technorgasmic.

So, after two long years of waiting. After so many dreams. So many lost opportunities. I finally have it.

I got my iPod!

It arrived today, all 80gb of music storing glory. Ah. *delight* So happy. It is already stuffed with music (well, not stuffed...I put only 17 gigs from the mac) encased in its Coach protective case. Ha.

And because I'm addicted to blogger's photo upload thing, here it is:




Happy happy, joy joy. My dad thought it was hilarious that Jack Sparrow was on the box though...me being a pirate fan and all.

*continues fiddling around with iPod*

A very piratey birthday (yar!)

My boyfriend led me to believe that last Friday was a low-key dinner to celebrate my birthday. I was bummed because everybody was too busy for us to hang out until late October and was resigned to never ever have a birthday party. Much less a pirate birthday party!

But lo and behold, the Boy and Clan Boobie strike again...

Needless to say, I was very happy. :) I'd been commenting on wanting to do a pirate-themed birthday party for some time, but, per usual, I chickened out. Boo. D contacted Clan Boobie and then sneaked into my cellphone and Adium account to get my nearest and dearest to show up. (And before anyone tells me, no, I never plan on letting that man go. He is much too awesome.) They all masterminded this party behind my back...ha! The cake was delicious, the food was delicious, the drinks were just what the pirates ordered, and the company was fantastic. Thanks you guys. You really made my birthday special. :)


And here's everyone in their piratey finest.

And, the pirate layout? Also D...the boy has really gone above and beyond to make me feel special. :) *keeps*